Confucius had a really good Chinese restaurant in the neighbourhood where I
grew up.People came from all over town to eat there but the food wasn't the big
draw. It was his fortune cookies!
They had the reputation of becoming true.
People always asked him how he did it and he would just put on this wizened
smile and claim that his dog did all the work. His dog actually wrote them. Yeah
right, but I was just a kid then so I believed him. I tried to feed his dog in order to
get on his good side.
I never saw the dog talk or write. He didn't even seem to be a very
smart dog. Once I fed him my paper napkin and he ate it.
One day he came out with an idea that made his restaurant truly famous. He put
seven fortune cookies into the batch that said, "you will soon become very rich."
Maybe he was afraid of success. I don't know why he did it but he made a
formal announcement that there is a fortune cookie in every batch that stated,
"you will become very dead."
Nobody ate at his restaurant after that except for tourists, drifters, and us. My
Dad wasn't really a risk taker. I think he just loved Chinese food. My Mum asked
Confucius why he would do such a thing to his own business. He just smiled and
told her that he didn't write the cookies. He had no control over the matter.
So we just kept going there every sunday. I don't know how he even stayed in
business. I suspected my Dad would eat there during the week on his lunch
One sunday Dad opened up his fortune cookie and it said, "You will become
He was overjoyed but not me.
My cookie said, "you will become very dead."
I quickly put the cookie below the chair and the dog ran over and ate it out
of my hand.
The next sunday Dad complained to him that he wasn't rich yet. Confucius
just glared at us pointing his finger and said, "you.... you killed my dog!
Get out! Never come back!"
Dad was mad at me for weeks after that.
He never did get rich.